Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
