I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
