so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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