Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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