oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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