I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
