the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
not ubering you a puppy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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