quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Couch. On fire.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
