also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
