you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
