i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
