ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
