the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
