Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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