is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so let's talk penis.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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