He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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