I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
