If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
