remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
