just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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