you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
