At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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