Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
