If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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