I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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