She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
