I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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