You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
