well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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