$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
