That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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