I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
