You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
