Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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