I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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