drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
