HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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