Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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