Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
