i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
