im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
