I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
