If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
