honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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