Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
