god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
