Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
