But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So vagazzling was a success
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
