i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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