Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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