Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
