would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
