Kiss
Puke
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Quick, to the slutcave!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
